Phantoms

Just read an entry by a friend on his blog ...

Here goes...
"a friend was commenting about the "phantom club" over a gathering recently. i'd guess he probably meant it as a joke, but it certainly wasn't at all humourous when u experience first-hand the degree of awkwardness and pressure associated with being a "phantom". for those not too familiar with hall colloquials, a "phantom" is a label conveniently attached to one who does only 3 things in hall -- eat, shit and sleep. n i really mean these 3 things _only_. as with all sorts of labelling, its nature is segregatory, and almost derogatory to an extent. aims to:1) classify for easier cognitive effort2) accuse for not contributing to the hall3) bitch about for conversation purposesi used to be really active in hall after orientation. got into the committee for the drama club, coordinated a couple of performances wrote scripts and directed, woke up at unearthly hours to train for ibg and played quite a number as well, painted a giant banner for the block, took part in activities, turned up for meetings etc... until i realised hall was eating too much into my life. i wanted some back. but it wasn't easy, when there are certain expectations tagged to u already.one of my greatest worries then was studies. surely i came uni not just to play but to study as well ya? especially when it was the first term, i wanted to start off on the right foot. some mistakes are irreversible and i didn't wanna take my chances. camped at the library to catch up on work that lagged behind, and took a break from hall. but sometimes i feel in hall, either u're "in" or u're "out", u can't put ur foot halfway thru the door and expect welcoming hugs and standing ovations. the longer i stayed out of hall, the further i felt from it. people stop including u (quite naturally i fully understand). it doesn't really help when most pple in hall are last minute workers and turn blind eyes to studies most of the semester. with the connection lost and priorities mismatched, it was telling of the result to come. the label "phantom" always felt uncomfortable. greetings were no longer "hi how've u been?" but rather "eh why so phantom i haven't seen u around for ages!". not from 1 person, but a barrage of them. eventually u get sick of giving the same answer "oh i've been catching up with work", "oh i've been busy with other matters". i'd call this negative peer pressure where instead of encouraging it becomes a form of teasing. it's a form of relational aggression if u ask me. so i switched off from hall completely, and eventually moved out. no point occupying the room and depriving a potential gungho hostellite of the space. "

Something to ponder about...is it really worthwhile to commit so much to hall? Sometimes I guess the Hall gain more than what you and I gain from it...

New Year Resolutions:

To get a CAP of at least 4.5 this Semester! I have concluded by just improving is useless, I must do better than that! I don't believe my ability is just sub 4!